Thursday, October 13, 2011

OH MY FELLOW HUMANS..!!! WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU..? READ THIS.!!! YOU REALISE THAT.!!!



OH! MY MOTHER! HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR MILK,FOOD,CLOTHS,PROTECTION &LOVE IN NEED!
OH! MY FATHER! HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR PROVIDING ME EDUCATION,GUIDANCE,ADVICE AS YOUNG!
OH MY SISTERS &BROTHER! HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR AFFECTION,TRUE CRITISM &HAPPINESS!
OH MY WIFE! HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR AFFECTION,CARE,PROTECTION,TOLERANCE&TASTY FOOD
OH MY CHILDREN! HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR LAUGHTER,PROGRESS,AFFECTION & COURTECY!
OH MY UNCLES & AUNTS! HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE,LAUGHTER,FRIENDLINESS&SMILES!
OH MY FRIENDS &RELATIVES! HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR JOKES,LAUGHTER,HOSPTALITY,SMILE!
OH MY POLITICAL,RELIGIOUS,SOCIAL,SPRITUAL,MENTORS!HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR COURAGE!
OH MY VILLAGE! HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVELY NATURE,GREEN VIEWS & LOVELY TEMPLES!
OH MY JAFFNA! HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR GREAT-HISTORY,EDUCATION,CULTURE&HOSPITALITY!
OH MY LANKA!HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR NATURAL-BEAUTY,SEA,NICE FOOD & WARM CLIMATE!
OH MY NORWAY! HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME&MY FAMILY PROTECTION,SAFETY,LIFE& CARE!
OH MY WORLD!HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR REGULAR DAY&NIGHT;SUMMER&WINTER CIRCLE SAFELY!
OH MY SUN!HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR LIGHT/HEAT FOR ALL!NOT COME CLOSER OR GO FAR AWAY!
OH MY UNIVERSE!HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR PROVIDING HARMONY!NOT DESTROYING LOVELY WORLD!
OH MY GOD!HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR THIS LOVELY WORLD/UNIVERSE&MY HEART WORKING SO FAR!

SHAN NALLIAH...DRAMMEN, NORWAY 13-10-2011

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Rathika Sitasabaiesan is a rising MP and the standard bearer for young women in Canada’s a male- dominated political culture.!!!

Jaffna-born Canadian Tamil MP in a Photoshop controversy October 1, 2011, 7:25 pm BY S VENKAT NARAYAN Our Special Correspondent NEW DELHI, October 1: A Jaffna-born Tamil woman, Canada’s first Tamil parliamentarian, is at the centre of an embarrassing Photoshop controversy. Conservative Canadian politicos apparently decided that 29-year-old Rathika Sitasabaiesan’s cleavage in a photograph appearing along with her official parliamentary profile too hot to handle. They thought the photograph was inappropriate for a workplace as formal as Parliament, and put out a modified version by retouching it to edit out her feminine curves. According to political blog "Contrarian," a reader performed an image search for the Tamil MP and discovered on the Canadian Parliament’s website a modified version of her headshot, which covers up her cleavage. Sitasabaiesan is a rising MP and the standard bearer for young women in Canada’s a male- dominated political culture. But angry critics argue that the alteration made to her photograph is anti- feminist, and that the cleavage has been removed to make Sitsabaiesan appear less womanly. It is not known if the editing was requested for by her party, her own office or on the parliamentary website’s own authority. Sitsabaiesan is only in her first year on the job, but has already earned praise for her confidence and poise. A first-time candidate, she won the Liberal stronghold of Scarborough with 40.62% of votes, beating Conservative Marlene Gallyot 18,935 votes to 13,935. She was born in Jaffna on 23 December 1981. When she was just five, her family migrated to Canada. She studied at Toronto University, and later transferred to Carleton University, where she completed a Bachelor of Commerce degree. She then did her Master’s in industrial relations at Queen’s University. Sitasaiesan is the first person of Tamil origin and also the youngest to be elected to the Canadian Parliament, and the first woman to be elected an MP in Scarborough. She has been heavily involved in community and advocacy work as a parliamentarian and as a student. She was subsequently appointed critic for post-secondary education (human resources and skills development) in the official opposition Shadow Cabinet in the 41st Canadian Parliament. www island.lk

Friday, September 30, 2011

I know many children who have neglected their parents and do not wish to keep their parents even for a day, although as grandparents they always love to spend their last days with their grandchildren.!!!

Elders Homes in Sri Lanka September 29, 2011, 8:30 pm The International Year for the Elders falls on 1St October. Let us give a little thought on this day, remembering our aged parents and elders who are suffering in silence in our country. When we are young and healthy, we never for a moment gave serious thought that we will one day grow old and feeble and that we would need the assistance of someone to look after us in the autumn of our life. In Sri Lanka prior to World War II children were very attached and loved their parents and although they were married and had family responsibilities and settled down in life, they never neglected to look after their parents in their old age, whether they had wealth in abundance or otherwise. With times, there have been changes in Sri Lanka. Children feel that it is a burden to look after their parents in their old age, when they are sick and feeble, perhaps due to financial strains and with the escalating cost of living. In these circumstances some would prefer that their parents die early. I know many children who have neglected their parents and do not wish to keep their parents even for a day, although as grandparents they always love to spend their last days with their grandchildren. In Sri Lanka, several years ago, I met an old couple near the Pettah Bus Stand (exposed to the elements) which is now their home, far away from home. They appear to be in their early 80s and partially blind. The old man related a very pathetic story to me. He was an educated person, spoke fluent English and had lived his life in Kandy. He had eight children and has sufficient wealth, which he divided amongst the eight children equally. He gave them in marriage and expected they would look after them in their old age. As time went on the children had taken up the position among themselves as to why the other brother or sister could not take the responsibility of looking after their parents in their old age. Everyone evaded the real issue of taking responsibility of looking after their parents and nothing was done to make the parents happy. One day, a son who could not bear the parents being neglected and suffering any further decided to bring the parents to Colombo from Kandy with the idea of entering them to an Elders Home in the city. Having failed in his mission, he just left the parents at the Pettah Bus Stand and disappeared. Never was the son seen again. What this son did was really shocking. The aged couple had to beg for their livelihood. In another case concerning the parents of a boy and a girl whom were given in marriage, the parents had to look after their grandchildren. However, when they became old and feeble the two children refused to keep their parents and started to ill-treat them. The children although affluent and educated in leading schools in Colombo, tried to get them into an Elders Home but failed. Meanwhile, the mother died. It was a great relief to them. The father lived with the daughter. But after a week’s stay she put the old man into a three-wheeler (having pre-paid the fare) and sent him to her brother’s house. Again, after a week or so the son sent the old man back in a three-wheeler (having prepaid the fare) to his sister’s house. The old man was suffering. Since he could not bare this anymore, he went to a relative’s place with his problems. They refused to keep him or put him in an Elders Home, because the children could well afford to put him into a fee-paying Elders Home. These are a few isolated cases but many old people are suffering in silence today. Is this not a "cruel world" that we are living in today to desert our parents at a time they really need the children’s assistance. In developed countries like Australia, children leave their parents at an early age of 16 years and live by themselves. When it comes to old age the State looks after them and provides them with social security and free public transport passes, Senior Citizens and Concession Cards to enable the elders to purchase pharmaceutical items etc., at a discounted price. Several religious organizations in our country, Sri Lanka, with limited financial resources and donations have provided for the old and feeble. But this is a far cry compared to the real needs of the neglected elders-in Sri-Lanka. I was pleased to hear recently that the Old Girls Association of Good Shepherd Convent, Kotahena have opened an Elders Home at Mabole, Wattala for the aged past pupils of Good Shepherd Convent who have become destitute. This is a worthy project. Perhaps, past pupils of other schools and colleges should start similar projects and will gain "merits" if they help aged past pupils who are sick and feeble and are unable to look after themselves in the autumn of their lives. Our politicians have debated many matters in Parliament but never for a moment have given serious thought to the matter of opening more elders home throughout the country. Perhaps when the time comes they can count on their pensions after five years in Parliament, and fall back on their financial resources. But what abut the thousands of helpless old people who continue to suffer in silence? Politicians should give serious thought to the elderly people who have now become deadwood and whom society has also neglected. The Government may not have the money to finance the building of Elders Homes in the country for those who have been discarded in the autumn of their lives by their loved ones due to the prevailing war like situation in the North/East of the country and having won the war two years ago and now have to find money for rehabilitation and infrastructure the people. Perhaps the Department of Social Services should undertake to launch a fortnightly lottery to find the money for the maintenance and upkeep of these Elders Homes. People will no doubt support a worthy cause since they may also one day seek admission to these Elders Homes. I have visited several Sri Lanka homes in Australia and have seen for myself that much food is wasted and thrown into the bin, while our countrymen are suffering in silence. Nearly 50% of the population are living below the poverty line. I would appeal to our dear Sri Lankans living in this great country, Australia, where all ethnic groups live in peace to think for a moment of our Elders who are presently neglected in Sri Lanka. I know of a Sri Lankan who is a Banker, living in California, who had built an Elders Home and a Childress Home in Negombo and also helps to maintain these Homes. Perhaps there are several Sri Lankan philanthropists who could build Elders Homes in memory of their parents in Sri Lanka, presently there about 20 Billionaires in Sri Lanka according to the media. There are several Elders Homes in Sri Lanka that depend solely on voluntary contributions to maintain these Homes. It is a very sad fact, but the reality is that many of these Homes do not know how or where to find their next meal! The first Mother Teresa Elders Home was built in Sri Lanka in 1965 at the former Mission House, St. Anthony’s Church, Madampitiya, Colombo 14. It is presently known as the "Home of Compassion" and managed by the Apostolic Carmelite Sisters. There are many Elders Homes run by several religious organizations in Sri Lanka. The list of these Homes may be obtained from the Department of Social Services, situated at 76/1/1, Duminda Building, Galle Road, Colombo 4. Any financial assistance and items of clothing may be given to these elders Homes direct. By doing so, you will gain "merits". Let us leave this world better than it was found and let our parents feel that they have not been neglected by their loved ones in the loneliness and also by the society to which they once contributed their "mite". Fred Rodrigo-Sathianathen, Melbourne, Australia. www island.lk

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

How to get to grow up safe & form a balanced personality? The author identified three fundamental pillars: the affection, stability and constancy.!!!


Safety and responsibility
April 19, 2011, 6:25 pm



In a book of child psychiatry learned that an emotional issue for many children is the lack of self-confidence. And how to get to grow up safe and form a balanced personality? The author identified three fundamental pillars: the affection, stability and constancy. The child needs to feel loved by their parents and educators and agree with their virtues and weaknesses.


he environmental and regulatory framework must be stable. The rules of conduct in the family can not change overnight, as the mood of the father, or if you are tired or have things gone wrong at work. The rules must be agreed by both parents and can not be changed without a good reason. This is stability.


Those operating norms must be constant, i.e., for all days alike. The boy can guess what will happen tomorrow remembering what happened yesterday and the day before. With these three things a child will have a reference framework that will give you security.


But often are their own parents and educators who create insecurity in their children through" pedagogy wobbly." It will be formulated rules of conduct for today and tomorrow are no longer valid. A teacher said that "school is where more laws are given and where they are least fulfiled." Educators, who behave like that, provoke insecurity in the learner and, indirectly, they push to them to defy with a haughty behaviour, to their parents and teachers.


Children need loving parents, stable and consistent in its rules and decisions, that today reacting as they did yesterday and will do the same thing tomorrow and the day after. It needs to set limits with love for the sake of your child and insist on respect each other. Kids need strong parents who do not hesitate or falter, but they must know exactly what they want for themselves and their families. With such kind of educators, learners feel safe, welcome and happy.


Sometimes we remember the visit of a relative or friend with a child unfriendly, angry, tyrannical, used to always call the attention and failing to obey when called to order. In these situations, older people do not know whether imposed or compromise to avoid a scolding that leaves matters more uncomfortable to the parents than the child.


In conclusion, we could say that a boy that could not find around himself a signage and demarcation reasonable and reasoned it becomes unsafe or nervous.


Arturo Ramo
Independent Forum of Opinion
http://indeforum.wordpress.com


www island.lk

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Be kind to yourself, be proud of yourself, get comfortable being who you are because you will be ‘that’ a long time.!!!

- Lional Wijesiri


My Dear Son,

I suspect most people are never 100 percent happy with themselves and that is a good thing. A little self-criticism goes a long way. But in general be kind to yourself, be proud of yourself, get comfortable being who you are because you will be ‘that’ a long time. I think you are a great guy and tell you so often.

We spend so much of our time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, yearning for that special love, feeling empty and lost without it, wanting someone to give us love and fill us up. Unfortunately, that’s not usually how life works. You will draw exactly what you create in life and what you believe you are worthy of. So loving yourself can create love in your life.

When you expect love from an external source and someone or something does not fulfil your void and fantasies, then you will feel worse than before.

The guy who is calm, cool, tidy, modest and strong is the one who has his internal act together. He knows who he is and he’s comfortable with it. He may work on making it better or even changing himself in some ways but only to advance, not because he doesn’t like what’s there now.

That wasn’t me for the first three decades of my life. I didn’t like who I was and I didn’t have control of my life. I’m still not wild about me but I’ve got used to me. My life is pretty good but it would have been so much better if I’d got it together twenty years sooner. Perhaps I can save you going the long way around.

Post this affirmation up someplace where you will see it each and every day; ‘I have the courage to believe that I am worthy of love.’ Read it out loud, every day, at least once.

Do three things a day, to change yourself into your dream person: if it is gaining or losing weight, then take a step by exercising or swimming for 20 minutes. If you want to ace your midterms, study harder.

If you need to become more organized and stop procrastinating then start cleaning and maintaining a place for every single item. Do what is on your to-do list by scheduling yourself.

Those are examples of three things to do in one day, to further a goal of someone becoming more fit, working towards a great career and gaining the mental clarity from the liberation of clutter! Achieving your goals, can make you love yourself much more because you are building a foundation for your own life and character

Learn to let go. There are a lot of people out there that have had hard lives or bad beginnings. It is important to let go of all the pain that is still inside you from that bad experience. This is often the hardest part of the journey, but once you’ve done it, you will really benefit from it.

Yours forever, Thaththi/FATHER

Monday, March 21, 2011

It’s a bit of a cliche that women settle down for love, and men for regular sex. But scientists are claiming it’s true..!!!

Latest from the University of the Bleedin’ Obvious: Couples stay together because women want love and men like sex
March 19, 2011, 2:24 pm



It’s a bit of a cliche that women settle down for love, and men for regular sex. But scientists are claiming it’s true. A study shows that women agree to cohabit because they view it as a stepping stone to marriage. Yet men move in hoping for more sex and to ‘test drive’ the relationship to see if it is worth sticking around.



Crossed purposes? A survey has found couples often move in with one another for differing reason The findings are likely to raise doubts about whether cohabitation carries the same degree of commitment from both partners as marriage.



An estimated four million Britons live together outside marriage. They account for 14 per cent of couples, up from 9 per cent a decade ago, while marriage rates have declined by a third in 30 years.



The study, published in the Journal of Family Issues, showed that men and women agree on many benefits of moving in together – such as spending more time together and sharing the cost of living.



But Professor Penelope Huang, who led the research, said: ‘The notion that cohabitation allows for more frequent opportunities for sex, compared to dating, was emphasised much more by the men in our study than the women.



‘Men also linked living together far less strongly to marriage than women. They tended to view it as a "test drive", without specific connections to marriage, whereas women tended to discuss it as a short interval on the way to marrying their partner.’



Professor Huang and other researchers from the University of California Hastings in San Francisco questioned around 200 men and women in their late 20s on reasons for and against moving in with a partner.



Women volunteered love as a reason to live together three times as often as men. But men mentioned sex four times more often than the women.



When asked about the biggest disadvantages of cohabiting, women said they were concerned it had less legitimacy than marriage.



But men were more worried that it signalled an end to their bachelor lifestyle.



Professor Huang said: ‘Some men expressed remorse over the loss of future sexual opportunities with other women. Men and women may well be entering cohabitation with different levels of commitment. Woman may want marriage and men may just want to "rent" one.’



Dr Pauline Rennie-Peyton, a psychologist specialising in relationship problems, said: ‘Living with someone is not necessarily a commitment. If women think it’s a stepping stone to marriage, then they need to be clear about it from the beginning.’



-Daily Telegraph

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Heartbroken dog dies after seeing his master killed in action..!!!




Heartbroken dog dies after seeing his master killed in action

We know that the dog is man's best friend and that a dog is most often the saviour of humans in war ravaged areas. One could not help but be amazed at the courage of military and police dogs that run during gunfire and save people, walk on explosives and find them, or spot enemies.

Thousands of military and police dogs are working all over the world in war-affected areas, including Sri Lanka. A heartbreaking story emerged recently from a war zone, about an unusual true love between a soldier and his military dog.

The British Military working Dog Regiment plays a key role in counter insurgency and improvised explosive device (IED) detection; searching and helping to clear routes, buildings and vehicles in Afghanistan and helping to guard and patrol key installations to assist and enhance security.


United in death: Lance Corporal Liam Tasker with his dog Theo. They died within hours of each other. Both their bodies are to be paraded together through the streets as a hero’s farewell.

It also provides a range of other capabilities wherever its skilled force is needed in the rest of the world.

This regiment comprises 284 soldiers and officers and about 200 dogs. While the number of American Military dogs working in Afghanistan is about 50.

Army dog handler Liam Tasker, a Lance Corporal in the British army, was said to be inseparable from his 22-month-old spaniel, Theo. Liam Tasker was shot dead while on patrol north of Nahr-e-Saraj in Helmand province in southern Afghanistan.

Theo, who was trained to search for bombs, survived but, seeing his handler dying, on returning to the British base at Camp Bastion, died of a brokenheart.The two best friends were united in death through tragedy.

The dog and the soldier were stars in the Army, as they had uncovered 14 home-made bombs and hoards of weapons in just five months - a record for a dog and his handler in the conflict.

The 26-year-old soldier recently spoke about his friendship with Theo to the Ministry of Defence website saying: 'I love my job and working together with Theo. He has a great character and never tires, he can't wait to get out and do his job and will stop at nothing.'

Theo has always been the 'front man' in Army missions, sniffing out any hidden IEDs, weapons and bomb-making equipment.

The British military also has released a statement saying that Theo's and L/Cpl Tasker's work have helped save thousands of lives.

Recently they took part in a mission in the Nahr-e-Saraj district in Helmand, but a shooting broke out with the Taliban and L/Cpl Tasker was shot dead.

After his body was flown back to Camp Bastion, his beloved Theo, who was healthy and strong is thought to have died of a broken heart (from a heart attack.).

L/Cpl Tasker joined the Army in 2001 as a vehicle mechanic in the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers but after learning about the dog unit and seeing a video of them in action, the animal lover transferred to the Royal Army Veterinary Corps in 2007.

He has spent 15 weeks on a handlers' course with Theo, where they learned to work as a team and developed their bond.

Theo was very successful at detecting explosives and his tour of duty at the war zone was due to be finished in a month.

Unfortunately, neither he nor his handler ever could leave Afghanistan alive.Animals like Theo save thousands of lives around the world. One could not help but pay tribute to such noble animal heroes that save the lives of cruel and flawed humans.

- Chamari Senanayake

sundayobserver.lk

Ex.husband with an ulterior motive - to get rid of his ex-wife Shanthini who had divorced him in India.!!!

Husband’s white van ploy backfires in wife’s killing
*Suspects apprehended due to timely detection by Security Forces

*Attempt to discredit Government thwarted





By Ananth PALAKIDNAR


With the end of the three -decade conflict, a large number of Tamils living abroad is arriving daily to see their native places in the Jaffna peninsula.

Most of the Tamil expatriates are returning to their birthplace to renew their relationship with their kith and kin and to assess the state of their assets which had due to the three- decades of terror that gripped the country.

Tamil expatriates
The current influx of Tamil expatriates into the peninsula has created an atmosphere of family reunion and healthy interactions among foreign returnees and their friends and relatives in the region.

Unlike the other returnees, forty-two-year-old Selvathurai Kuhadhas came to his native home town Chavakachcheri in Jaffna a few weeks ago with an ulterior motive - to get rid of his ex-wife Shanthini who had divorced him in India, three years ago.

Kuhadhas and Shanthini have a fifteen-year-old son, Ruban who lived with his mother most of the time when his father was in Canada. Shanthini and her son Ruban were in South India until she got her divorce from Kuhadhas.

An alleged extra marital affair Kuhadhas developed with his brother’s wife’s sister, is believed to have led to the divorce between Kuhadhas and Shanthini.

Since the break-up of his marriage, Kuhadhas was planning to take the woman whom he was involved with to Canada.

Returned
A few weeks ago, Kuhadhas who is said to be a qualified engineer returned to Colombo from Canada with a malicious plan to fulfil his intention of taking the woman whom he was involved with him to Canada and to acquire the assets he and Shanthini owned before their divorce.

Soon after arrival in Colombo, Kuhadhas got in touch with a person called Raja who is alleged to have links with the underworld.


Driver of the white van, Raja

Kuhadhas’s plan to kill his wife was two-pronged. He had worked it out with his new-found allies in Colombo to execute it in such a way in order to get rid of his wife on the one hand and to create an impression on the other, that the killing was committed by the Security Forces, he used the `white van’ ploy to abduct Shanthini.

To go ahead with his plan Kuhadhas had hired a white coloured van bearing the number 253-3852. He obtained the van in Wellawatte, Colombo.

With the end of the conflict in the North certain vicious elements spearheaded rumours to discredit the Security Forces saying that `white vans’ were used by them to abduct civilians. However, the Security Forces Command in Jaffna had countered these vicious rumours on several occasions in the past and even apprehended criminals who were involved in criminal activity by creating an adverse impression on the Security Forces personnel in the North. But Kuhadhas who was not aware about the precautionary measures and the alertness of the Security Forces personnel in the North, embarked on his `crafty’ plan by using a `white van’ which he had hired from Colombo.

On that fateful day on March 6, Sunday he went to his ex-wife Shanthini’s house in Meesalai East in the Chavakachcheri district.

Kuhadhas got down from the van and dragged Shanthini and their son Ruban forcibly into the van.

Cries raised
Despite the cries raised by the neighbourhood, Kuhadhas’s `white van’ whisked the two victims and disappeared from the scene. The incident took place around 3.30 pm.

Shanthini’s neighbours who attempted to prevent the abduction had rushed to the Chavakachcheri police and made a complaint about the incident.

Police then alerted the 523 Brigade and got into action immediately along with troops of the Brigade.

Within a couple of hours, the Security Forces personnel were able to locate the place where Shanthini was hidden by Kuhadhas.

However, the Security Forces personnel were only able to recover Shanthini’s body which was brutally disfigured and partly buried in the compound of a deserted house near a temple in an isolated place called Kirampuvil in Chavakachcheri.

It has been found that Kuhadhas had used a bicycle chain to strangle Shanthini’s neck to kill her. Before strangling Shanthini, he had brutally disfigured her face beyond identification.

The Security Forces personnel and the police who continued with the search operation, later found Shanthini’s son Ruban at a lodge near the Jaffna Government Secretariat. The owners of the lodge who have been taken into custody have told police that Ruban was brought there by his father Kuhadhas.


Ruban, son of Kuhadhas and Shanthini

The Security Forces personnel who continued with the search operation later apprehended the suspect, the `white van’ he had hired in Colombo and its driver Raja.

Apprehended
The woman suspected to be involved with Kuhadhas has been apprehended by police and is in remand custody.

Meanwhile, District Judge of Chavakachcheri C. Ganesharaja visited the scene of the crime and ordered the suspects to be remanded till March 18.

Swift and timely action by the Security Forces have prevented the suspect fleeing from the Peninsula and thrashed the sinister motives of the suspect.

A senior attorney-at-law and first woman President’s Counsel in Jaffna, Ms. Shantha Abimanyu recently commenting on the present State of the social structure of the Jaffna Peninsula regretted that marriage and divorce rates in the region were now on the increase among young couples.

“We never heard of this in the past.

Jaffna was a highly cultured and conservative society.

The people were very spiritual, academically sound and did not give room to problems and divorce and separation were taboo sjubejcts.

Apart from the effects of the three decades of conflict in the North, foreign influence and new-rich tendencies have made inroads into the social structure of present day Jaffna,” Shantha Abimanyu said.

Reports from countries where Lankan Tamil expatriates live also indicate that the divorce rate and domestic violence among families were on the increase.

Some Civil Society members in the Jaffna peninsula commenting on last week’s horror in Chavakachcheri said that the incident had instilled fear on the social structure of Jaffna society which is likely to be influenced by the fast track lifestyles of these elements with all types of notoriety.

sundayobserver.lk

There has been a sharp increase in child molestations the world over..!!!

Facebook, an open sesame for child molesters ?
by Omar RAJARATHNAM

There has been a sharp increase in child molestations the world over to ascertain what it was like in the city, the Sunday Observer interviewed a cross section of youngsters and met a girl who was willing to recount her bitter experience about her childhood. Her identity has been withheld.

This now grown up girl said that she was fond of her paternal uncle (Ravi) because he regaled her with amusing anecdates. "He narrated jokes and I used to sit and laugh out loud until one day he attempted to touch me. I felt like the doors of joy just closed on me for eternity. Those funny moments I shared were taken over by inexplicable confusion, a feeling that she still finds difficult to come to terms with after the six- year-long molestation which ended nearly eight years ago.

Aged 24 now the girl is working for a reputed organisation, but was shocked beyond words recently to see her uncle having a "Facebook" profile that had a list of friends who were not familiar to many family members, a situation which she thinks can make many other young girls fall prey to his tactics." I do not want another innocent child to fall victim to this man. These children will not talk to their parents about the trauma they have undergone because of the simple reason of confronting an adult.

Facts are stubborn says, Chairperson of the National Child Protection Authority (NCPA), Anoma Dissanayake as they have evidence that almost 92 percent of reported molestation cases are where a known relative is the culprit, a figure that is extremely high. Children are not willing to talk about it to their parents because it is considered taboo."We are in the habit of disregarding what children say, I call upon all parents to ask their children to bring it to the notice of any other adult so that appropriate measures can be taken. This could be an uncle, aunty, cousin, neighbour or grandparents. No one should touch a child in a manner which makes them physically or virtually uncomfortable through inappropriate cyber activity" she said.

Facebook or other social networking sites such as Hi5, Twitter and dating websites does not have a method of verifying the age of subscribers and local technology is not equipped to provide sufficient parental control methods either, if the facility to control is ever introduced, there is enough software available for downloading on the internet to unlock the restriction.

Even a six-year-old child can enter a manipulated date of birth and have access to the site impersonating someone else. A paedophile can follow the same method to have access to a child too. A fake profile can be set within a matter of seconds and the first friend request he sends your child can be the foundation to the destruction of their childhood. "Why can't parents be more vigilant" asks Anoma,"If parents are not responsible of what they are up to on the internet then who is"? she queries.

All parents must be applauded for working hard to provide their children with a good education and any facilities they may like to have as a child, but can they justify compromising the child's sexual safety to provide all the luxuries that are expected when a child is small?

"I am a mother of three children, I know the difficulty in striking a balance between a job and family life, but no excuse can be given for negligence on the part of parents. As parents it is our duty to ensure and provide children sufficient security. Most children know that they will be uninterrupted from 7-9pm because mothers are busy watching television serials. This is the time children can get up to anything on the internet. This way they are being a given guaranteed two hours to satisfy their curiosities. Keep the desktop in the house in the most prominent and public place, why should children be alone opposite a computer. If they are not up to mischief they can always surf the net or do whatever they want in the presence of other elders. There is nothing wrong in parents being curious about their child for their own safety," says Anoma.

Popular shopping malls in Colombo are very popular for strange meetings too, many opt to meet in these airconditioned malls these days instead of Galle Face or any other open park. The public toilets in these malls only have Janitors who charge shoppers before they enter them but the Sunday Observer learns that these cubicles are now being used for sexual activity by offeing a bribe of a mere Rs 20, making it a convenient location for child molesters to misuse children that they meet on social networking sites or otherwise. There are thousands of children who meet in these places and the lack of vigilance means that they too run the risk of being subject to some type of molestation. The situation is dangerous but the NCPA is not unaware of the extent of the damage it has caused and no official complaints have been made", Anoma Dissanayake said.

"Since our 24-hour-child line 1929, was set up on July 22, 2010, we have received 26,929 calls up to February 28, 2011 of which we lodged 3,694 complaints and action was taken against the perpetrators. I call upon the public to be extra vigilant too, although parents must be held accountable for their children, it is our social responsibility to safeguard all children, make use of our help line and we will do all in our power to stop these acts" she said.

Although an authority could take action against a fugitive as a reactive measure, we certainly need to focus on having proactive strategies to fight child molestation too. Be it cyber molestation or physical molestation, the time taken from the authorities being informed to them reporting to the scene, is ample for the culprit to finish his task. The offender might be taken to Court or convicted, but a lost childhood means irreparable damage to adulthood.

sundayobserver.lk

When it comes to substance abuse, girls appear to have a positive effect on boys, but boys have a negative effect on girls.!!!

Teen boys benefit from female friends, but reverse is not true: study
March 11, 2011, 7:21 pm

Parents of teen girls who fret over the intensification of girl culture have every reason to wish for a little co-ed influence in their daughters’ lives. But a new study suggests they should be careful what they wish for.
In a new wrinkle to the common wisdom that peers have a big impact on behaviour, it turns out that male and female peers can operate very differently.



When it comes to substance abuse, girls appear to have a positive effect on boys, but boys have a negative effect on girls.



Girls who initiate friendships with boys in early adolescence are more likely to develop substance-abuse problems later in their teens, compared to the boys and girls who initiate those friendships later, according to new research by Fran├žois Poulin of the University of Quebec at Montreal.



His study appears in the current Journal of Research on Adolescence.



Prof. Poulin and his colleagues followed about 400 adolescents (58 per cent of them girls) aged 12 to 18 for seven years, and regularly asked them about their friendships and their use of alcohol and drugs.



He found that unlike girls with male friends, boys who become friends with girls in early adolescence were not more likely to develop substance-use problems as older teens.



The reason? It may, paradoxically, have something to do with the emotional support girls offer. Boys who are friends with girls benefit; the girls lose out.



"Boys reported receiving higher levels of emotional support from their other-sex friends, whereas girls receive more support from their same-sex friends," Prof. Poulin said in a statement. "It is possible that having other-sex friends is protective for boys because they gain emotional support and are therefore less likely to engage in problem behaviour."



Among girls, antisocial behaviour and early puberty were also linked to the increase in the proportion of male friends they had. (G&M)

Thursday, March 3, 2011

DAD-SON RELATIONSHIP IS UNDEFINEABLE! UNEXPLAINABLE! UNFORGETTABLE! OH!



OH MY DAD! WHAT A LOVE YOU SHOWED ME! WHAT A CARE YOU TOOK ABOUT ME!
YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! UNAVOIDABLE ADVICES! UNVALUABLE FRIENDSHIP!
ALL TOUCHING MY HEART! EVENTHOUGH WE FIGHT SOMETIMES,YOU MY BEST FRIEND!
YOU NEVER LET ME DOWN FROM CHILDHOOD! YOU DEFENDED ME UNTIL LASTMOMENT!
I SAY THANK YOU DAD! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!THIS IS THE UNIVERSAL WORD! VOICE!
DAD-SON RELATIONSHIP IS UNDEFINEABLE! UNEXPLAINABLE! UNFORGETTABLE! OH!
I REMEMBER YOUR PASSION & COMPASSION TOWARDS FELLOW HUMANS & NATURE!
I MISS YOU DAD! I ALWAYS DO UNTIL I GET INTO MY COFFIN! THAT IS A UNISERSAL BOND!

SHAN NALLIAH, NORWAY
http://worldtamilsocialforum.blogspot.com

NOTE:
OUR DEEPEST SYMPATHIES TO OUR BATCH-MATE:SIVAPATHAM JEYARATNAM'S FAMILY & FRIENDS REGARDING HIS FATHER:SIVAPATHAM'S DEATH AT NSW IN AUSTRALIA ON 03.03.2011.
MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE! UNDER THE FEET OF GOD SHIVA OF UNIVERSE DURING THE HOLYNIGHT OF SHIVARATHRI/SHIVA NIGHT.!!!