Monday, March 21, 2011

It’s a bit of a cliche that women settle down for love, and men for regular sex. But scientists are claiming it’s true..!!!

Latest from the University of the Bleedin’ Obvious: Couples stay together because women want love and men like sex
March 19, 2011, 2:24 pm

It’s a bit of a cliche that women settle down for love, and men for regular sex. But scientists are claiming it’s true. A study shows that women agree to cohabit because they view it as a stepping stone to marriage. Yet men move in hoping for more sex and to ‘test drive’ the relationship to see if it is worth sticking around.

Crossed purposes? A survey has found couples often move in with one another for differing reason The findings are likely to raise doubts about whether cohabitation carries the same degree of commitment from both partners as marriage.

An estimated four million Britons live together outside marriage. They account for 14 per cent of couples, up from 9 per cent a decade ago, while marriage rates have declined by a third in 30 years.

The study, published in the Journal of Family Issues, showed that men and women agree on many benefits of moving in together – such as spending more time together and sharing the cost of living.

But Professor Penelope Huang, who led the research, said: ‘The notion that cohabitation allows for more frequent opportunities for sex, compared to dating, was emphasised much more by the men in our study than the women.

‘Men also linked living together far less strongly to marriage than women. They tended to view it as a "test drive", without specific connections to marriage, whereas women tended to discuss it as a short interval on the way to marrying their partner.’

Professor Huang and other researchers from the University of California Hastings in San Francisco questioned around 200 men and women in their late 20s on reasons for and against moving in with a partner.

Women volunteered love as a reason to live together three times as often as men. But men mentioned sex four times more often than the women.

When asked about the biggest disadvantages of cohabiting, women said they were concerned it had less legitimacy than marriage.

But men were more worried that it signalled an end to their bachelor lifestyle.

Professor Huang said: ‘Some men expressed remorse over the loss of future sexual opportunities with other women. Men and women may well be entering cohabitation with different levels of commitment. Woman may want marriage and men may just want to "rent" one.’

Dr Pauline Rennie-Peyton, a psychologist specialising in relationship problems, said: ‘Living with someone is not necessarily a commitment. If women think it’s a stepping stone to marriage, then they need to be clear about it from the beginning.’

-Daily Telegraph

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Heartbroken dog dies after seeing his master killed in action..!!!

Heartbroken dog dies after seeing his master killed in action

We know that the dog is man's best friend and that a dog is most often the saviour of humans in war ravaged areas. One could not help but be amazed at the courage of military and police dogs that run during gunfire and save people, walk on explosives and find them, or spot enemies.

Thousands of military and police dogs are working all over the world in war-affected areas, including Sri Lanka. A heartbreaking story emerged recently from a war zone, about an unusual true love between a soldier and his military dog.

The British Military working Dog Regiment plays a key role in counter insurgency and improvised explosive device (IED) detection; searching and helping to clear routes, buildings and vehicles in Afghanistan and helping to guard and patrol key installations to assist and enhance security.

United in death: Lance Corporal Liam Tasker with his dog Theo. They died within hours of each other. Both their bodies are to be paraded together through the streets as a hero’s farewell.

It also provides a range of other capabilities wherever its skilled force is needed in the rest of the world.

This regiment comprises 284 soldiers and officers and about 200 dogs. While the number of American Military dogs working in Afghanistan is about 50.

Army dog handler Liam Tasker, a Lance Corporal in the British army, was said to be inseparable from his 22-month-old spaniel, Theo. Liam Tasker was shot dead while on patrol north of Nahr-e-Saraj in Helmand province in southern Afghanistan.

Theo, who was trained to search for bombs, survived but, seeing his handler dying, on returning to the British base at Camp Bastion, died of a brokenheart.The two best friends were united in death through tragedy.

The dog and the soldier were stars in the Army, as they had uncovered 14 home-made bombs and hoards of weapons in just five months - a record for a dog and his handler in the conflict.

The 26-year-old soldier recently spoke about his friendship with Theo to the Ministry of Defence website saying: 'I love my job and working together with Theo. He has a great character and never tires, he can't wait to get out and do his job and will stop at nothing.'

Theo has always been the 'front man' in Army missions, sniffing out any hidden IEDs, weapons and bomb-making equipment.

The British military also has released a statement saying that Theo's and L/Cpl Tasker's work have helped save thousands of lives.

Recently they took part in a mission in the Nahr-e-Saraj district in Helmand, but a shooting broke out with the Taliban and L/Cpl Tasker was shot dead.

After his body was flown back to Camp Bastion, his beloved Theo, who was healthy and strong is thought to have died of a broken heart (from a heart attack.).

L/Cpl Tasker joined the Army in 2001 as a vehicle mechanic in the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers but after learning about the dog unit and seeing a video of them in action, the animal lover transferred to the Royal Army Veterinary Corps in 2007.

He has spent 15 weeks on a handlers' course with Theo, where they learned to work as a team and developed their bond.

Theo was very successful at detecting explosives and his tour of duty at the war zone was due to be finished in a month.

Unfortunately, neither he nor his handler ever could leave Afghanistan alive.Animals like Theo save thousands of lives around the world. One could not help but pay tribute to such noble animal heroes that save the lives of cruel and flawed humans.

- Chamari Senanayake

Ex.husband with an ulterior motive - to get rid of his ex-wife Shanthini who had divorced him in India.!!!

Husband’s white van ploy backfires in wife’s killing
*Suspects apprehended due to timely detection by Security Forces

*Attempt to discredit Government thwarted


With the end of the three -decade conflict, a large number of Tamils living abroad is arriving daily to see their native places in the Jaffna peninsula.

Most of the Tamil expatriates are returning to their birthplace to renew their relationship with their kith and kin and to assess the state of their assets which had due to the three- decades of terror that gripped the country.

Tamil expatriates
The current influx of Tamil expatriates into the peninsula has created an atmosphere of family reunion and healthy interactions among foreign returnees and their friends and relatives in the region.

Unlike the other returnees, forty-two-year-old Selvathurai Kuhadhas came to his native home town Chavakachcheri in Jaffna a few weeks ago with an ulterior motive - to get rid of his ex-wife Shanthini who had divorced him in India, three years ago.

Kuhadhas and Shanthini have a fifteen-year-old son, Ruban who lived with his mother most of the time when his father was in Canada. Shanthini and her son Ruban were in South India until she got her divorce from Kuhadhas.

An alleged extra marital affair Kuhadhas developed with his brother’s wife’s sister, is believed to have led to the divorce between Kuhadhas and Shanthini.

Since the break-up of his marriage, Kuhadhas was planning to take the woman whom he was involved with to Canada.

A few weeks ago, Kuhadhas who is said to be a qualified engineer returned to Colombo from Canada with a malicious plan to fulfil his intention of taking the woman whom he was involved with him to Canada and to acquire the assets he and Shanthini owned before their divorce.

Soon after arrival in Colombo, Kuhadhas got in touch with a person called Raja who is alleged to have links with the underworld.

Driver of the white van, Raja

Kuhadhas’s plan to kill his wife was two-pronged. He had worked it out with his new-found allies in Colombo to execute it in such a way in order to get rid of his wife on the one hand and to create an impression on the other, that the killing was committed by the Security Forces, he used the `white van’ ploy to abduct Shanthini.

To go ahead with his plan Kuhadhas had hired a white coloured van bearing the number 253-3852. He obtained the van in Wellawatte, Colombo.

With the end of the conflict in the North certain vicious elements spearheaded rumours to discredit the Security Forces saying that `white vans’ were used by them to abduct civilians. However, the Security Forces Command in Jaffna had countered these vicious rumours on several occasions in the past and even apprehended criminals who were involved in criminal activity by creating an adverse impression on the Security Forces personnel in the North. But Kuhadhas who was not aware about the precautionary measures and the alertness of the Security Forces personnel in the North, embarked on his `crafty’ plan by using a `white van’ which he had hired from Colombo.

On that fateful day on March 6, Sunday he went to his ex-wife Shanthini’s house in Meesalai East in the Chavakachcheri district.

Kuhadhas got down from the van and dragged Shanthini and their son Ruban forcibly into the van.

Cries raised
Despite the cries raised by the neighbourhood, Kuhadhas’s `white van’ whisked the two victims and disappeared from the scene. The incident took place around 3.30 pm.

Shanthini’s neighbours who attempted to prevent the abduction had rushed to the Chavakachcheri police and made a complaint about the incident.

Police then alerted the 523 Brigade and got into action immediately along with troops of the Brigade.

Within a couple of hours, the Security Forces personnel were able to locate the place where Shanthini was hidden by Kuhadhas.

However, the Security Forces personnel were only able to recover Shanthini’s body which was brutally disfigured and partly buried in the compound of a deserted house near a temple in an isolated place called Kirampuvil in Chavakachcheri.

It has been found that Kuhadhas had used a bicycle chain to strangle Shanthini’s neck to kill her. Before strangling Shanthini, he had brutally disfigured her face beyond identification.

The Security Forces personnel and the police who continued with the search operation, later found Shanthini’s son Ruban at a lodge near the Jaffna Government Secretariat. The owners of the lodge who have been taken into custody have told police that Ruban was brought there by his father Kuhadhas.

Ruban, son of Kuhadhas and Shanthini

The Security Forces personnel who continued with the search operation later apprehended the suspect, the `white van’ he had hired in Colombo and its driver Raja.

The woman suspected to be involved with Kuhadhas has been apprehended by police and is in remand custody.

Meanwhile, District Judge of Chavakachcheri C. Ganesharaja visited the scene of the crime and ordered the suspects to be remanded till March 18.

Swift and timely action by the Security Forces have prevented the suspect fleeing from the Peninsula and thrashed the sinister motives of the suspect.

A senior attorney-at-law and first woman President’s Counsel in Jaffna, Ms. Shantha Abimanyu recently commenting on the present State of the social structure of the Jaffna Peninsula regretted that marriage and divorce rates in the region were now on the increase among young couples.

“We never heard of this in the past.

Jaffna was a highly cultured and conservative society.

The people were very spiritual, academically sound and did not give room to problems and divorce and separation were taboo sjubejcts.

Apart from the effects of the three decades of conflict in the North, foreign influence and new-rich tendencies have made inroads into the social structure of present day Jaffna,” Shantha Abimanyu said.

Reports from countries where Lankan Tamil expatriates live also indicate that the divorce rate and domestic violence among families were on the increase.

Some Civil Society members in the Jaffna peninsula commenting on last week’s horror in Chavakachcheri said that the incident had instilled fear on the social structure of Jaffna society which is likely to be influenced by the fast track lifestyles of these elements with all types of notoriety.

There has been a sharp increase in child molestations the world over..!!!

Facebook, an open sesame for child molesters ?

There has been a sharp increase in child molestations the world over to ascertain what it was like in the city, the Sunday Observer interviewed a cross section of youngsters and met a girl who was willing to recount her bitter experience about her childhood. Her identity has been withheld.

This now grown up girl said that she was fond of her paternal uncle (Ravi) because he regaled her with amusing anecdates. "He narrated jokes and I used to sit and laugh out loud until one day he attempted to touch me. I felt like the doors of joy just closed on me for eternity. Those funny moments I shared were taken over by inexplicable confusion, a feeling that she still finds difficult to come to terms with after the six- year-long molestation which ended nearly eight years ago.

Aged 24 now the girl is working for a reputed organisation, but was shocked beyond words recently to see her uncle having a "Facebook" profile that had a list of friends who were not familiar to many family members, a situation which she thinks can make many other young girls fall prey to his tactics." I do not want another innocent child to fall victim to this man. These children will not talk to their parents about the trauma they have undergone because of the simple reason of confronting an adult.

Facts are stubborn says, Chairperson of the National Child Protection Authority (NCPA), Anoma Dissanayake as they have evidence that almost 92 percent of reported molestation cases are where a known relative is the culprit, a figure that is extremely high. Children are not willing to talk about it to their parents because it is considered taboo."We are in the habit of disregarding what children say, I call upon all parents to ask their children to bring it to the notice of any other adult so that appropriate measures can be taken. This could be an uncle, aunty, cousin, neighbour or grandparents. No one should touch a child in a manner which makes them physically or virtually uncomfortable through inappropriate cyber activity" she said.

Facebook or other social networking sites such as Hi5, Twitter and dating websites does not have a method of verifying the age of subscribers and local technology is not equipped to provide sufficient parental control methods either, if the facility to control is ever introduced, there is enough software available for downloading on the internet to unlock the restriction.

Even a six-year-old child can enter a manipulated date of birth and have access to the site impersonating someone else. A paedophile can follow the same method to have access to a child too. A fake profile can be set within a matter of seconds and the first friend request he sends your child can be the foundation to the destruction of their childhood. "Why can't parents be more vigilant" asks Anoma,"If parents are not responsible of what they are up to on the internet then who is"? she queries.

All parents must be applauded for working hard to provide their children with a good education and any facilities they may like to have as a child, but can they justify compromising the child's sexual safety to provide all the luxuries that are expected when a child is small?

"I am a mother of three children, I know the difficulty in striking a balance between a job and family life, but no excuse can be given for negligence on the part of parents. As parents it is our duty to ensure and provide children sufficient security. Most children know that they will be uninterrupted from 7-9pm because mothers are busy watching television serials. This is the time children can get up to anything on the internet. This way they are being a given guaranteed two hours to satisfy their curiosities. Keep the desktop in the house in the most prominent and public place, why should children be alone opposite a computer. If they are not up to mischief they can always surf the net or do whatever they want in the presence of other elders. There is nothing wrong in parents being curious about their child for their own safety," says Anoma.

Popular shopping malls in Colombo are very popular for strange meetings too, many opt to meet in these airconditioned malls these days instead of Galle Face or any other open park. The public toilets in these malls only have Janitors who charge shoppers before they enter them but the Sunday Observer learns that these cubicles are now being used for sexual activity by offeing a bribe of a mere Rs 20, making it a convenient location for child molesters to misuse children that they meet on social networking sites or otherwise. There are thousands of children who meet in these places and the lack of vigilance means that they too run the risk of being subject to some type of molestation. The situation is dangerous but the NCPA is not unaware of the extent of the damage it has caused and no official complaints have been made", Anoma Dissanayake said.

"Since our 24-hour-child line 1929, was set up on July 22, 2010, we have received 26,929 calls up to February 28, 2011 of which we lodged 3,694 complaints and action was taken against the perpetrators. I call upon the public to be extra vigilant too, although parents must be held accountable for their children, it is our social responsibility to safeguard all children, make use of our help line and we will do all in our power to stop these acts" she said.

Although an authority could take action against a fugitive as a reactive measure, we certainly need to focus on having proactive strategies to fight child molestation too. Be it cyber molestation or physical molestation, the time taken from the authorities being informed to them reporting to the scene, is ample for the culprit to finish his task. The offender might be taken to Court or convicted, but a lost childhood means irreparable damage to adulthood.

When it comes to substance abuse, girls appear to have a positive effect on boys, but boys have a negative effect on girls.!!!

Teen boys benefit from female friends, but reverse is not true: study
March 11, 2011, 7:21 pm

Parents of teen girls who fret over the intensification of girl culture have every reason to wish for a little co-ed influence in their daughters’ lives. But a new study suggests they should be careful what they wish for.
In a new wrinkle to the common wisdom that peers have a big impact on behaviour, it turns out that male and female peers can operate very differently.

When it comes to substance abuse, girls appear to have a positive effect on boys, but boys have a negative effect on girls.

Girls who initiate friendships with boys in early adolescence are more likely to develop substance-abuse problems later in their teens, compared to the boys and girls who initiate those friendships later, according to new research by Fran├žois Poulin of the University of Quebec at Montreal.

His study appears in the current Journal of Research on Adolescence.

Prof. Poulin and his colleagues followed about 400 adolescents (58 per cent of them girls) aged 12 to 18 for seven years, and regularly asked them about their friendships and their use of alcohol and drugs.

He found that unlike girls with male friends, boys who become friends with girls in early adolescence were not more likely to develop substance-use problems as older teens.

The reason? It may, paradoxically, have something to do with the emotional support girls offer. Boys who are friends with girls benefit; the girls lose out.

"Boys reported receiving higher levels of emotional support from their other-sex friends, whereas girls receive more support from their same-sex friends," Prof. Poulin said in a statement. "It is possible that having other-sex friends is protective for boys because they gain emotional support and are therefore less likely to engage in problem behaviour."

Among girls, antisocial behaviour and early puberty were also linked to the increase in the proportion of male friends they had. (G&M)

Thursday, March 3, 2011