Are marriages made in heaven?
Krishni Gunawardena- Therapist/Counselor
However much we are clever and know that married life is not a fairytale we tend to live in a dream world especially at the time we fall in love until the wedding celebrations are over.
The beautiful images of the wedding, romantic visions of Cinderella and Prince Charming lurk in our hearts and minds. The romance, passion, glamour, and all the attention in the world is on you. Isn’t that the best time of our life?
The answer is a resounding "Yes"
However…let’s face it, in real life how smooth is marriage life? We think that our pure love will pull us through. Actually it does, but not that smoothly.
Sometimes it’s not the most romantic parts but the least romantic parts in our marriage that help us to learn about ourselves, our love for each other and the reality of marriage.
Nirasha, 26 thought she found ‘Mr. Right’ when married Shiran, an Accountant by profession. She thought they were going to be happy together until ‘death us do part.’ But one year into her marriage problems started. In fact she wondered "is this the guy whom I was in a mighty hurry to get married?" Actually he was.
What she didn’t realize, at the time she was cramming wedding cake into his mouth, having buttly and dancing away, was that the sameness of the day in and day out togetherness can sometimes get you down, if you don’t work on your marriage.
When Nirasha’s parents talked about "marriage takes work" Nirasha assumed it was all about keeping a lovely home and tolerating Shiran’s few bad habits at home. But it wasn’t that simple for her!
Human beings are complicated creatures by nature. It’s a good thing to study each other constantly. Each time we think "oh! I know him so well and I’ve mastered is ways" he has changed a little bit more!!
As two people grow and evolve the real work of marriage is finding a way to relate and nurture each other in the process.
Most of us don’t realize that marriage is not a destination but a journey filled with equal parts of excitement and difficulties.
Nimshi and Naresh a loving couple- second year into their marriage- confessed to me that they have heated arguments mostly after coming from work. They start from petty issues and end up insulting each other’s family and relatives.
Contrary to the saying "never go to bed angry" [meaning resolve it, kiss and go to bed!] the appropriate thing to do is just ‘sleep on it’ not forgetting to say "I am a little tired right now, let’s talk about it tomorrow"
You need this break to calm down, gain perspective and to give it a rest. It will allow you to figure out why you were angry and hurt. Probably you were too stressed out at work and wanted to unload it on someone. Without this ‘time out’ a good argument can lead to irrelevant and damaging words being used to spoil the relationship.
Getting your way always, is not an achievement, what is important is finding a way to work it out together.
Darshi, 49 who holds a prestigious position as a Judge felt that a lifetime of life experience has taught her that in most areas, at most times, she was right about most things. She says, "What shocked me after many years of marriage was that the more ‘right’ I was the more discontented my husband and I were as a couple"
"I realized that in certain disagreements there is no ‘right’ or no ‘wrong’. It’s simply his way and my way of looking at things"
There was time I thought things were "either black or white" but now I’ve realized there is more ’grey’ in life.
Most of us have this belief that we can change a person we love-make him closer to ‘perfect’. We may use nag, sympathy or shouts and tantrums but changing a full grown person-stripping her/him of age old habits and beliefs are truly impossible, especially when you have known her/him for a year or two.
It may be good to realize that it is much easier to change the way we respond to them.
These realizations- if they come to us sooner than later- are great bonuses in a marriage.
Though marriage has hard times and lessons that no one can ever prepare you for, at the end of the day, those are the things that give us the powerful moments, richness to our life together and make our love even deeper and stronger than when it began.
DAILYMIRROR.LK
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
DANGERS OF MOBILE PHONE RADIATION....!!!
True Story
This morning I heard a true and sad story from a colleague of mine. She told me one of her friends is always having abortions.
When the foetus gets to be 2-3 months old she loses it. This happened several times over. The couple went to check with many doctors and at last one of the doctors examined the dead baby and found that the baby's body cells kept dying as the baby was growing in the womb until he/she could not survive. This was because her uterus was affected by Handphone Radiation.
The doctor told her, she now has no chance to give birth to a healthy baby because the radiation has affected her uterus so that the major portion of the cells in her uterus have already died.
This happened because she has been keeping her hand phone in her working jacket so that the phone rested against just on the right spot of the uterus. She had been wearing it like this for a few years.
Please beware of this and take note if you don't want what has happened to this woman to happen to you.
Dearest friends, email contacts & family members,
Please do not ignore hand phone radiation which will damage our health or body organs. Please put away your hand phone whenever you don't need it much.
Guys, Please do not keep your hand phone near to the kidney position and pants pocket .
The other doctor also advised another friend to keep her hand phone away from her new born baby to avoid radiation damage to the baby's brain cells.
Do not let the baby or toddler play with the hand phone. This is because the small young baby or toddler is still very fragile and growing, so he/she is much more vulnerable to radiation damage.
Please remember not to sleep together with your hand phone or put it next to your bed.
Keep any other electronic goods (such as tvs) which also give off radiation away from your bedroom to reduce risk as we have to sleep a few hours every day in our bedroom at night.
Further, do not imagine that if you switch off the TV there will be no radiation. Actually it is still around in your room.
It is not advisable to have even a small digital alarm clock close to your head while sleeping.
To be frank of course most of us can’t lead a normal life without usage of mobile phones and also other electronic gadgets. SO the BEST SOLUTION will be to get a prevention measures or item to protect our self…one of it of course to use fractal tools with Amized Fusion Technology.
Even this Amzied fusion technology tools also can do some miracles things like energizing and giving a shield to human being, even for someone with sickness/diseases also have recover tremendously by using or applying this tools technique…
Take Care of yourself and your loved ones.
.........................................
Remark:- To get the details of the best prevention measure or info bout the fractal tools feel free to get back
to me then…you have to see for yourself personally to fully convinced that these tools really works
towards preventing as well as recovering something bad to better even good as well…
You’ll Will Never Walk Alone……………LLL
This morning I heard a true and sad story from a colleague of mine. She told me one of her friends is always having abortions.
When the foetus gets to be 2-3 months old she loses it. This happened several times over. The couple went to check with many doctors and at last one of the doctors examined the dead baby and found that the baby's body cells kept dying as the baby was growing in the womb until he/she could not survive. This was because her uterus was affected by Handphone Radiation.
The doctor told her, she now has no chance to give birth to a healthy baby because the radiation has affected her uterus so that the major portion of the cells in her uterus have already died.
This happened because she has been keeping her hand phone in her working jacket so that the phone rested against just on the right spot of the uterus. She had been wearing it like this for a few years.
Please beware of this and take note if you don't want what has happened to this woman to happen to you.
Dearest friends, email contacts & family members,
Please do not ignore hand phone radiation which will damage our health or body organs. Please put away your hand phone whenever you don't need it much.
Guys, Please do not keep your hand phone near to the kidney position and pants pocket .
The other doctor also advised another friend to keep her hand phone away from her new born baby to avoid radiation damage to the baby's brain cells.
Do not let the baby or toddler play with the hand phone. This is because the small young baby or toddler is still very fragile and growing, so he/she is much more vulnerable to radiation damage.
Please remember not to sleep together with your hand phone or put it next to your bed.
Keep any other electronic goods (such as tvs) which also give off radiation away from your bedroom to reduce risk as we have to sleep a few hours every day in our bedroom at night.
Further, do not imagine that if you switch off the TV there will be no radiation. Actually it is still around in your room.
It is not advisable to have even a small digital alarm clock close to your head while sleeping.
To be frank of course most of us can’t lead a normal life without usage of mobile phones and also other electronic gadgets. SO the BEST SOLUTION will be to get a prevention measures or item to protect our self…one of it of course to use fractal tools with Amized Fusion Technology.
Even this Amzied fusion technology tools also can do some miracles things like energizing and giving a shield to human being, even for someone with sickness/diseases also have recover tremendously by using or applying this tools technique…
Take Care of yourself and your loved ones.
.........................................
Remark:- To get the details of the best prevention measure or info bout the fractal tools feel free to get back
to me then…you have to see for yourself personally to fully convinced that these tools really works
towards preventing as well as recovering something bad to better even good as well…
You’ll Will Never Walk Alone……………LLL
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The ills of a ‘fixed posture’.....!!!
The ills of a ‘fixed posture’
After scribbling on ‘political posturing’ of the UPFA constituent parties yesterday, especially the fickle nature of the SLFP, it is a relief to pen something more useful to the general public – those who suffer due to ‘fixed postures’.
A throbbing pain in chest and heaviness and a running pain in the left arm are generally identified as symptoms of a heart attack. However often there are times when somebody with such symptoms is given a clean sheet by the doctor at the end of a series of tests. Daily, dozens and dozens of students, bankers, accountants, young professionals mostly between 25-45 are rushed to hospitals only to be told that nothing amiss.
This has been quite a recurring grievance and they end up feeling miserable having failed to figure out what exactly is wrong with their bodies. A fortunate few get to know the truth behind their aches and pains. Tell the story to a professional physiotherapist and the first question he or she would ask is ‘do you use computers for long hours?’ If yes then comes the second question ‘do you keep you head bent while using its key board?’
Yes.
The physiotherapist would then treat the patient with a combination of therapy and would ask the patient to correct the posture, lower the computer chair and do a few exercises everyday.
Now how many computer users in this country are enlightened about the fact that one is likely to develop ‘a sort of a heart attack’ symptoms including chest pains if one keeps the head bent for long hours since the posture strains the nerves that head towards chest and arm.
It is indeed unfortunate that Sri Lanka, which has hundred thousands of computer users, lacks a proper awareness programme on the computer related illnesses. It has also been found that there are thousands of Sri Lankans who suffer from Repetitive strain injury (RSI) a variation of the same condition where tissue damage can trigger distress and depression. It may start off with a pain in the arm due to overuse of key board, then followed by fatigue, lack of confidence, an eternal sense of foreboding that something is wrong and many others.
A nearly half a million computer users in the US and about two hundred thousand in the UK are reportedly suffering from RSI related conditions.
The history of the RSI is traced to ‘writer’s cramps’ before the advent of computers and Leonardo da Vinci is among the many high profile personalities who have suffered from the illness. However the condition is not limited to writers or computer users. Anybody who performs repetitive movements for long hours in a poor fixed posture and work under stress can succumb to the illness.
While there is an assortment of treatments for the illness including relaxation techniques, diagnosing the condition and accessing the best treatment still remains a challenge for many Sri Lankans due to poor awareness.
dailymirror.lk
After scribbling on ‘political posturing’ of the UPFA constituent parties yesterday, especially the fickle nature of the SLFP, it is a relief to pen something more useful to the general public – those who suffer due to ‘fixed postures’.
A throbbing pain in chest and heaviness and a running pain in the left arm are generally identified as symptoms of a heart attack. However often there are times when somebody with such symptoms is given a clean sheet by the doctor at the end of a series of tests. Daily, dozens and dozens of students, bankers, accountants, young professionals mostly between 25-45 are rushed to hospitals only to be told that nothing amiss.
This has been quite a recurring grievance and they end up feeling miserable having failed to figure out what exactly is wrong with their bodies. A fortunate few get to know the truth behind their aches and pains. Tell the story to a professional physiotherapist and the first question he or she would ask is ‘do you use computers for long hours?’ If yes then comes the second question ‘do you keep you head bent while using its key board?’
Yes.
The physiotherapist would then treat the patient with a combination of therapy and would ask the patient to correct the posture, lower the computer chair and do a few exercises everyday.
Now how many computer users in this country are enlightened about the fact that one is likely to develop ‘a sort of a heart attack’ symptoms including chest pains if one keeps the head bent for long hours since the posture strains the nerves that head towards chest and arm.
It is indeed unfortunate that Sri Lanka, which has hundred thousands of computer users, lacks a proper awareness programme on the computer related illnesses. It has also been found that there are thousands of Sri Lankans who suffer from Repetitive strain injury (RSI) a variation of the same condition where tissue damage can trigger distress and depression. It may start off with a pain in the arm due to overuse of key board, then followed by fatigue, lack of confidence, an eternal sense of foreboding that something is wrong and many others.
A nearly half a million computer users in the US and about two hundred thousand in the UK are reportedly suffering from RSI related conditions.
The history of the RSI is traced to ‘writer’s cramps’ before the advent of computers and Leonardo da Vinci is among the many high profile personalities who have suffered from the illness. However the condition is not limited to writers or computer users. Anybody who performs repetitive movements for long hours in a poor fixed posture and work under stress can succumb to the illness.
While there is an assortment of treatments for the illness including relaxation techniques, diagnosing the condition and accessing the best treatment still remains a challenge for many Sri Lankans due to poor awareness.
dailymirror.lk
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Women are at their happiest at the age of 28....!!!
Women ‘happiest at 28’
Women are at their happiest at the age of 28, a study has found.
Researchers discovered women feel most confident and happy with their love life and body shape shortly before they reach 30.
It is also the period in their life when they enjoy the best sex – but the happiness is relatively shortlived.
Because by the time they have turned 30 they start worrying about growing old and developing grey hair and wrinkles.
A spokesman for home hair colour brand Clairol Perfect 10, which carried out the study of 4,000 women, said: "Everything in life hits its peak at some point, and nearly reaching your thirties isn’t so bad now.
"The age of 28 has been pinpointed as the time in a woman’s life their hair looks the best, body shape is at its peak and confidence is at an all-time high.
"The security of your job, having a steady income, being in a relationship and having strong friendships all help create the perfect point in our lives when everything comes together.
"Reaching and surpassing your twenties no longer triggers the downward spiral of your looks and self-confidence.
"And a little time put aside in hectic schedules for self-pampering and the odd beauty product can help keep you feeling young and looking your best."
The survey of 25-65 year olds recorded the age at which women were most content in 12 key areas of their life.
According to the results, women are happiest in their career at 29 and most content with their relationships one year later at 30, despite having the best sex at 28.
But all is not lost for the over 30s, as women feel most content with their financial situation at 33 and at ease with their home and family life at 32.
The research found two thirds of women feel they age more quickly than men, and the women polled rated their appearance a measly five out of 10.
It also emerged that 56 per cent of women worry about losing their looks as they get older
But drinking from the fountain of youth doesn’t come cheap as the average woman will spend £600 every year, or more than £49 a month, on beauty products in a bid to stay looking young.
The research also found women spend over five days a year on their beauty routine – an average of 22 minutes every day.
Psychologist Corinne Sweet added: "Having a good hair day is essential to success both at work and in love, as many women still feel their hair is their crowning glory
"Considering it was found that women have six bad hair days a month, anything women can rely on to improve their hair at home, in the minimum of time with guaranteed results can mean a huge lift in well-being, confidence and self-esteem.
"This can help women feel they are in the driving seat in their lives, despite the challenging times of modern life and always being on the go."
© The Telegraph Group London 2009
www island.lk
Women are at their happiest at the age of 28, a study has found.
Researchers discovered women feel most confident and happy with their love life and body shape shortly before they reach 30.
It is also the period in their life when they enjoy the best sex – but the happiness is relatively shortlived.
Because by the time they have turned 30 they start worrying about growing old and developing grey hair and wrinkles.
A spokesman for home hair colour brand Clairol Perfect 10, which carried out the study of 4,000 women, said: "Everything in life hits its peak at some point, and nearly reaching your thirties isn’t so bad now.
"The age of 28 has been pinpointed as the time in a woman’s life their hair looks the best, body shape is at its peak and confidence is at an all-time high.
"The security of your job, having a steady income, being in a relationship and having strong friendships all help create the perfect point in our lives when everything comes together.
"Reaching and surpassing your twenties no longer triggers the downward spiral of your looks and self-confidence.
"And a little time put aside in hectic schedules for self-pampering and the odd beauty product can help keep you feeling young and looking your best."
The survey of 25-65 year olds recorded the age at which women were most content in 12 key areas of their life.
According to the results, women are happiest in their career at 29 and most content with their relationships one year later at 30, despite having the best sex at 28.
But all is not lost for the over 30s, as women feel most content with their financial situation at 33 and at ease with their home and family life at 32.
The research found two thirds of women feel they age more quickly than men, and the women polled rated their appearance a measly five out of 10.
It also emerged that 56 per cent of women worry about losing their looks as they get older
But drinking from the fountain of youth doesn’t come cheap as the average woman will spend £600 every year, or more than £49 a month, on beauty products in a bid to stay looking young.
The research also found women spend over five days a year on their beauty routine – an average of 22 minutes every day.
Psychologist Corinne Sweet added: "Having a good hair day is essential to success both at work and in love, as many women still feel their hair is their crowning glory
"Considering it was found that women have six bad hair days a month, anything women can rely on to improve their hair at home, in the minimum of time with guaranteed results can mean a huge lift in well-being, confidence and self-esteem.
"This can help women feel they are in the driving seat in their lives, despite the challenging times of modern life and always being on the go."
© The Telegraph Group London 2009
www island.lk
Friday, June 26, 2009
SL: Dengue patients top 12,387 with 151 deaths...!!!
Dengue patients top 12,387 with 151 deaths:
Control programs in full swing
Nadira GUNATILLEKE
The Healthcare and Nutrition Ministry has released latest statistics on dengue. The number of persons affected by dengue so far is 12,387 while 151 persons have died from the disease.
The number of dengue patients reported within this year is 12,387 and 146 is the highest number of persons to die from dengue since 2000.
In 2004, the highest number of dengue patients were reported from Sri Lanka and it was 15,463 but only 88 dengue deaths were reported in the same year.
This year 52 deaths were been reported during last month (May) alone.
The highest number of deaths have been reported from Kandy (25) and Gampaha (25). The highest number of dengue patients have been reported from Kandy (1765), Colombo (1734) and Kegalle (1634).
The Ministry introduced a hotline (0112665329) to report mosquito breeding sites. Under the Prevention of Mosquito Breeding Act Number 11 of 2007, persons who keep mosquito breeding sites within their properties will have to either pay Rs. 1,000 to Rs. 25,000 fines or be imprisoned for six months.
The Ministry has already identified 68 high risk MOH areas and the Ministry’s dengue control program will be active in those areas from June 27 and 28 at a cost of Rs.6.8 million.
The Ministry’s dengue control program was reviewed and found out that it has brought good results.
The Ministry has appointed 10 officials to supervise the dengue control program in 10 districts where the identified 68 MOH areas are located. The program will be implemented by the Civil Defence Committees, Grama Niladharis, Samurdhi animators, MOH officers, PHIs and all the other health officers in the relevant area.
The dengue control program consists of educational programs, shramadana campaigns, inspections and taking legal action against persons who do not cooperate with the authorities to destroy mosquito breeding sites.
Ministry Additional Secretary Dr.Nihal Jayatilleke will coordinate the entire dengue control program.
dailynews.lk
Control programs in full swing
Nadira GUNATILLEKE
The Healthcare and Nutrition Ministry has released latest statistics on dengue. The number of persons affected by dengue so far is 12,387 while 151 persons have died from the disease.
The number of dengue patients reported within this year is 12,387 and 146 is the highest number of persons to die from dengue since 2000.
In 2004, the highest number of dengue patients were reported from Sri Lanka and it was 15,463 but only 88 dengue deaths were reported in the same year.
This year 52 deaths were been reported during last month (May) alone.
The highest number of deaths have been reported from Kandy (25) and Gampaha (25). The highest number of dengue patients have been reported from Kandy (1765), Colombo (1734) and Kegalle (1634).
The Ministry introduced a hotline (0112665329) to report mosquito breeding sites. Under the Prevention of Mosquito Breeding Act Number 11 of 2007, persons who keep mosquito breeding sites within their properties will have to either pay Rs. 1,000 to Rs. 25,000 fines or be imprisoned for six months.
The Ministry has already identified 68 high risk MOH areas and the Ministry’s dengue control program will be active in those areas from June 27 and 28 at a cost of Rs.6.8 million.
The Ministry’s dengue control program was reviewed and found out that it has brought good results.
The Ministry has appointed 10 officials to supervise the dengue control program in 10 districts where the identified 68 MOH areas are located. The program will be implemented by the Civil Defence Committees, Grama Niladharis, Samurdhi animators, MOH officers, PHIs and all the other health officers in the relevant area.
The dengue control program consists of educational programs, shramadana campaigns, inspections and taking legal action against persons who do not cooperate with the authorities to destroy mosquito breeding sites.
Ministry Additional Secretary Dr.Nihal Jayatilleke will coordinate the entire dengue control program.
dailynews.lk
Monday, June 22, 2009
Top 10 Ways to Kick Depression.....!!!
Top 10 Ways to Kick Depression
Fra: Maravanpulavu K. Sachithananthan (tamilnool@gmail.com)
Sendt: 22. juni 2009 11:16:44
Til: Sasirekha (tamilnool@tamilnool.com)
Top 10 Ways to Kick Depression
by Rachel Fleischman MSW, LCSW
"My mind is like a bad neighborhood. I try never to go there alone."
~Ann Lamont; author
Depression sucks.
No doubt about it.
Having treated dozens of individuals with depression over the years, while reading countless books on the treatment of this "noonday demon", I still believe that the number one factor that really enables me to get to the heart of this malady is my firsthand experience with it. That's right. Not only am I a psychotherapist, I am also a bonafide client as well.
Depression started tugging at my heels by the time I was 8 years old. By 16, the dean of my high-school would call me each morning to make sure I got out of bed and showed up at school, instead of sleeping all day. By 30, I had two boyfriends; Ben and Jerry. Today, I still have low moments, but they are far less often, and last far less long. When my clients tell me that they are surprised that I really "get them", I often share that I have had my personal struggles with depression.
"The mind is a terrible thing to watch." ~Ann Lamont
I agree. Imagine if we had a scribe in our heads, even for a day.
I know I would be ashamed to think of what mine might write.
Having done a great deal of research on depression, I have heard many expert opinions regarding its etymology, hypothesizing everything from environmental, historical, genetic, energetic, past-lives, DNA-related, trauma-based, kharmic law. One thing is for sure; when we got it, we got it, and it can be crippling.
What folks may not know is that there are very useful tricks we can use to alleviate a sour mood. The brain is plastic. It is the last part of our body to really know something. When we tell our brain that life is awful and we are doomed, our brain tends to agree. In fact, I have noticed that when we when I experience a bout of depression, it is often triggered by events where I feel exposed as a "failure". My way out usually begins with a decision. A decision to feel better.
So, I decided to compile my "Top 10 Tricks to Kick Depression out of Bed, and Snuggle up with Joy Instead."
Write these down, stick em on your wall, and put them in motion.
First trick:
Get out of your head and into your feet
The body craves movement. Exercise really works. Let's not think of it as exercise though. Nothing is gnarlier to the depressed person than imagining him/herself at the gym in ill fitting sweats, panting on the stair master while svelte athletes are bopping around in all directions.
As Woody Allen says, 90% of success is showing up. Once we've got our walking shoes on, once we get endorphins cooking, the doldrums have less power to penetrate .
Second trick:
Turn on music! Now!
I recommend that my clients have an arsenal of inspiring and fun music at their fingertips.
I have even been known to make CD's for my clients. When we're depressed, the smallest task feels overwhelming. If I can kick-start someone's joy, then I am thrilled.
Third trick:
Turn on the light and sit in the sun.
Many of us work in windowless cubicles or offices, and wonder why we feel blue.
This time of year, when the sun sets earlier, we must 's dark out in autumn and winter, get a light, get some sun, get some more sun. And if there is no sun in your world, then buy a full-spectrum light. Get one cheap on E-bay.
Fourth trick:
Hang out with 4-leggeds. (Unless of course, you're allergic)
Having an animal companion near can instantly relaease oxytocin, that magical hormone that we secrete when we fall in love, give birth, or are nursing. It releases a feeling of goodwill, or trust in the world.
OK, so not all of all are blessed to be in love all the time, or be breast feeding, so I recommend my clients find other ways to bring on the joy chemical. Read on.
Fifth trick:
Change your thoughts. Right now.
We have around 60,000.00 thoughts per day. 87% of them are negative and are the same thoughts we had yesterday.
Experiencing joy is a deliberate choice. Joy takes practice. Joy is hardcore.
I use realistic affirmations, which, at times are posted all over my room. Notice I said realistic.
We must remember that affirmations don't make something happen, they make something welcome.
People tell me, "I put an affirmation up on my bedroom wall, saying:"I am ready to meet a gorgeous, successful, charming man who will adore and worship me." It's been 3 months. Where is he?" I tell them; "You have made yourself more open to meeting this human. Finding him is another story. Sorry."
Sixth Trick:
Follow a joyous lifestyle. Choose joyous entertainment.
find a class, a workout, anything that gets you in your body, preferably sweating a bit.
Seventh Trick:
Affirm joy with words.
Rudyard Kipling said "I am by calling a dealer in words. And words are by far the most powerful drug in the world". It may seem trite, but changing the way we speak can be extremely influential in changing our moods.
Eighth Trick:
Grab hold of a goal.
Make it a do-able one. Happiness and joy come from goals. We mustn't put off our lives.
Ninth Trick:
Cultivate a relationship with the divine.
We are whom our higher self wanted to experience.
There is some truth to the pithy phrase: There's no aetheists in foxholes.
Have a smidgens of faith and the world can be a gentler space.
Tenth Trick:
Choose joyous companions.
When we are depressed, we take our bored, sluggish selves wherever we go. We need distractions. We need company. We need intimacy. It is very important to be around authentic people. We need someone who believes in us. No nay-sayers!
Posted by Rachel Fleischman, MSW, LCSW
Labels: depression, exercise, happiness, healing, joy, life-coaching, mood, women's health, yoga
Author's Bio
Rachel Fleischman, MSW, LCSW is a highly-skilled psychotherapist and dynamic workshop leader, based in San Francisco. Throughout her career, Rachel has pioneered the combination of traditional psychotherapy with movement, body awareness and spirituality.
Embodying 20 years of expertise, Rachel's body of work synthesizes a vast repertoire of movement and healing arts.
Rachel's fascination with spirituality, soul, mood disorders, and movement, has led her to develop a movement system called Dance Your Bliss, a playful powerful and highly original movement form which she leads across the globe.
http://www.dancingyourbliss.com
--
மறவன்புலவு க. சச்சிதானந்தன்
Maravanpulavu K. Sachithananthan
Fra: Maravanpulavu K. Sachithananthan (tamilnool@gmail.com)
Sendt: 22. juni 2009 11:16:44
Til: Sasirekha (tamilnool@tamilnool.com)
Top 10 Ways to Kick Depression
by Rachel Fleischman MSW, LCSW
"My mind is like a bad neighborhood. I try never to go there alone."
~Ann Lamont; author
Depression sucks.
No doubt about it.
Having treated dozens of individuals with depression over the years, while reading countless books on the treatment of this "noonday demon", I still believe that the number one factor that really enables me to get to the heart of this malady is my firsthand experience with it. That's right. Not only am I a psychotherapist, I am also a bonafide client as well.
Depression started tugging at my heels by the time I was 8 years old. By 16, the dean of my high-school would call me each morning to make sure I got out of bed and showed up at school, instead of sleeping all day. By 30, I had two boyfriends; Ben and Jerry. Today, I still have low moments, but they are far less often, and last far less long. When my clients tell me that they are surprised that I really "get them", I often share that I have had my personal struggles with depression.
"The mind is a terrible thing to watch." ~Ann Lamont
I agree. Imagine if we had a scribe in our heads, even for a day.
I know I would be ashamed to think of what mine might write.
Having done a great deal of research on depression, I have heard many expert opinions regarding its etymology, hypothesizing everything from environmental, historical, genetic, energetic, past-lives, DNA-related, trauma-based, kharmic law. One thing is for sure; when we got it, we got it, and it can be crippling.
What folks may not know is that there are very useful tricks we can use to alleviate a sour mood. The brain is plastic. It is the last part of our body to really know something. When we tell our brain that life is awful and we are doomed, our brain tends to agree. In fact, I have noticed that when we when I experience a bout of depression, it is often triggered by events where I feel exposed as a "failure". My way out usually begins with a decision. A decision to feel better.
So, I decided to compile my "Top 10 Tricks to Kick Depression out of Bed, and Snuggle up with Joy Instead."
Write these down, stick em on your wall, and put them in motion.
First trick:
Get out of your head and into your feet
The body craves movement. Exercise really works. Let's not think of it as exercise though. Nothing is gnarlier to the depressed person than imagining him/herself at the gym in ill fitting sweats, panting on the stair master while svelte athletes are bopping around in all directions.
As Woody Allen says, 90% of success is showing up. Once we've got our walking shoes on, once we get endorphins cooking, the doldrums have less power to penetrate .
Second trick:
Turn on music! Now!
I recommend that my clients have an arsenal of inspiring and fun music at their fingertips.
I have even been known to make CD's for my clients. When we're depressed, the smallest task feels overwhelming. If I can kick-start someone's joy, then I am thrilled.
Third trick:
Turn on the light and sit in the sun.
Many of us work in windowless cubicles or offices, and wonder why we feel blue.
This time of year, when the sun sets earlier, we must 's dark out in autumn and winter, get a light, get some sun, get some more sun. And if there is no sun in your world, then buy a full-spectrum light. Get one cheap on E-bay.
Fourth trick:
Hang out with 4-leggeds. (Unless of course, you're allergic)
Having an animal companion near can instantly relaease oxytocin, that magical hormone that we secrete when we fall in love, give birth, or are nursing. It releases a feeling of goodwill, or trust in the world.
OK, so not all of all are blessed to be in love all the time, or be breast feeding, so I recommend my clients find other ways to bring on the joy chemical. Read on.
Fifth trick:
Change your thoughts. Right now.
We have around 60,000.00 thoughts per day. 87% of them are negative and are the same thoughts we had yesterday.
Experiencing joy is a deliberate choice. Joy takes practice. Joy is hardcore.
I use realistic affirmations, which, at times are posted all over my room. Notice I said realistic.
We must remember that affirmations don't make something happen, they make something welcome.
People tell me, "I put an affirmation up on my bedroom wall, saying:"I am ready to meet a gorgeous, successful, charming man who will adore and worship me." It's been 3 months. Where is he?" I tell them; "You have made yourself more open to meeting this human. Finding him is another story. Sorry."
Sixth Trick:
Follow a joyous lifestyle. Choose joyous entertainment.
find a class, a workout, anything that gets you in your body, preferably sweating a bit.
Seventh Trick:
Affirm joy with words.
Rudyard Kipling said "I am by calling a dealer in words. And words are by far the most powerful drug in the world". It may seem trite, but changing the way we speak can be extremely influential in changing our moods.
Eighth Trick:
Grab hold of a goal.
Make it a do-able one. Happiness and joy come from goals. We mustn't put off our lives.
Ninth Trick:
Cultivate a relationship with the divine.
We are whom our higher self wanted to experience.
There is some truth to the pithy phrase: There's no aetheists in foxholes.
Have a smidgens of faith and the world can be a gentler space.
Tenth Trick:
Choose joyous companions.
When we are depressed, we take our bored, sluggish selves wherever we go. We need distractions. We need company. We need intimacy. It is very important to be around authentic people. We need someone who believes in us. No nay-sayers!
Posted by Rachel Fleischman, MSW, LCSW
Labels: depression, exercise, happiness, healing, joy, life-coaching, mood, women's health, yoga
Author's Bio
Rachel Fleischman, MSW, LCSW is a highly-skilled psychotherapist and dynamic workshop leader, based in San Francisco. Throughout her career, Rachel has pioneered the combination of traditional psychotherapy with movement, body awareness and spirituality.
Embodying 20 years of expertise, Rachel's body of work synthesizes a vast repertoire of movement and healing arts.
Rachel's fascination with spirituality, soul, mood disorders, and movement, has led her to develop a movement system called Dance Your Bliss, a playful powerful and highly original movement form which she leads across the globe.
http://www.dancingyourbliss.com
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மறவன்புலவு க. சச்சிதானந்தன்
Maravanpulavu K. Sachithananthan
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Dengue:Over 10,000 patients and 125 deaths are recorded so far..!!!There are 2,000 dog bites recorded per day..!! Swine flu, dengue, IDPs’ health-!!!
Minister Nimal Siripala De Silva
Pic: Kavindra Perera
Health Minister asserts:
Swine flu, dengue, IDPs’ health my top priorities
by Panchamee HEWAVISSENTI
In an exclusive interview with the Sunday Observer, Healthcare and Nutrition Minister Nimal Siripala De Silva highlighted his priorities on dengue and the swine flu control with emphasis on health of IDPs and the development activities in the Uva.
Q: The first person diagnosed with the swine flu has already been found. The public is panicked as the virus is likely to spread all over and create a dangerous situation in the country. How does the swine flu spread from one person to another?
A: Influenza is quite common in pigs. Yet the 2009 flu outbreak is due to a new strain of subtype H1N1 which was not previously found in pigs. Although the strain can be transmitted from human to human, direct transmission of swine flu from pigs to humans is occasionally possible.
Therefore, it is our responsibility to inform people to maintain their personal health habits, such as washing hands, using a handkerchief when sneezing or coughing, to be careful not to touch things with bare hands so that they could avoid infection as far as possible.
When the virus enters a human body, high fever resulting in coughing continues. When a person coughs the virus comes out with mucus and saliva and thus it enters another person.
Another important point is that when a patient is diagnosed with swine flu such a person should be separated. It is not at all advisable to let him or her mingle with ordinary people because of the high probability of the disease spreading to another.
It has infected 36,000 people in 76 countries and claimed 163 lives according to latest WHO figures. Naturally the fatality rate of infants and old people are high due to the intensity of the sickness.
People put their lives at risk when they neglect symptoms of the disease. People should be cautious if they detect any changes in them such as high fever. It is imperative to obtain treatment before it would be too late because unlike dengue, swine flu can be cured with medicine. If the patient receives treatment at the right time there is nothing to fear about swine flu.
Q: Is the Health Ministry prepared for any eventuality? Is the Government ready with its plans to contain the spread of swine flu?
A: The Government has already made necessary arrangements to treat all the people afflicted with swine flu. We have made special arrangements in the structure of the hospitals to treat those patients. I have obtained sufficient amounts of medicine for swine flu from the WHO and distributed them among 20 main hospitals in the country. So, there is hardly any reason to fear over swine flu. Swine flu is not as fatal as dengue.
When the swine flu was first detected in Mexico in late April, the Government initiated action to prevent Sri Lankans becoming victims to the flu. When the WHO signalled the outbreak of the swine flu, the Government being conscious that it would come from abroad, immediately implemented special `flu detective systems’ at the Katunayaka Airport.
If a passenger with high fever arrives at the airport, the scanning machines indicate that with red colour. Then special arrangements are made to keep the patient away from others till he or she fully recovers.
It doesn’t mean that each and every passenger infected with swine flu can be detected. The machines only detect the persons with high fever. There is a high possibility of missing those who are diagnosed with swine flu but without any symptoms of a high fever.
So such people might develop high fever later as in the case of the boy who has arrived from Australia. He contacted the swine flu while he was in Australia and has developed high fever and cough after several days of arriving in Sri Lanka.
Q: For a government which crushed the world’s most ruthless terror outfit, keeping dengue at bay is simple but over 10,000 patients and 125 deaths are recorded so far. How confident are you to claim that dengue can be overcome as you got rid of terrorism?
A: As terrorism was not eliminated over-night, we cannot get rid of dengue in one or two days. It took three decades to fully get rid of terrorism. Likewise it may require three or four months since there is no brisk way of getting rid of dengue fully. It should be done systematically on step by step basis. It takes time to change people’s attitudes and lifestyles.
That cannot be achieved over-night. So we have a huge responsibility to organise and educate the public on the ways and means which can be made use of to destroy dengue breeding places. With the support of the public in full measure, I strongly believe that we would be able to fight the battle against dengue successfully.
Q: How long will it take to eliminate dengue fully?
A: That is to say if we receive the cooperation of the public in full, elimination of dengue could be achieved within a short period as of a month. It all lies in the hands of the public.
Q: How can the public contribute to the elimination of dengue? The major part of the elimination of dengue is the responsibility of the public. It is beyond the achievement of the Government to go from house to house of a population of 18 million people and destroy the places where dengue mosquitoes breed.
A: It is the collective responsibility of the people to destroy dengue. It should be done at various levels. The disposal of garbage should be done in the most suitable way.
Since dengue mosquitoes breeds in clean water, those areas where the water collects such as tins, plastic containers etc should be destroyed. It is not a difficult task to keep one’s surrounding clean. The mosquito which carries dengue virus can only fly a distance of 500m. Therefore the person who does not care to clean his surroundings and destroying places where mosquitoes breed has to face the repercussions himself.
Q: How much has the Government allocated for the dengue elimination program?
A: It is hard to give the exact figures. Nevertheless the Government spends a huge sum of money for various activities connected with eliminating dengue, such as distribution of leaflets, PHIs and, other public health officers to treat those who voluntarily attend `Shramadhanas’ etc. and also for other related things. The financial aspect of this is negligible. What is most important is the public support.
Q: What punishments are imposed on those who help breeding dengue?
A: According to `Dengue Elimination Act’, a 6 months imprisonment and a fine of Rs. 25,000 can be imposed. Considering our cultural norms, it is not advisable to go to the extent of imposing above punishments.
We should first warn them and if they do not respond favourably, we have no option but to take action against them. Already over 300 persons have been found guilty. By imposing punishment it is hoped the people could be motivated towards elimination of dengue.
Q: How successful is the `dengue eliminating project’ launched at schools and work places?
A: The success of those projects cannot be measured immediately. It may take a few months to assess the outcome because those who become dengue patients at present are those who were stung by mosquitos couple of weeks ago.
If the density of mosquitoes was reduced by those projects as expected, the result would appear in another couple of week’s time. Thus we would be able to analyse how many schoolchildren or employees became victims to dengue before these projects and after that. We could conclude that those projects are highly successful if the rate of the schoolchildren or employees infected with dengue is found to be comparatively lower over time.
Q: The huge piles of garbage has its unpleasant effect on the public. Some hold a strong view that the dengue cannot be eliminated merely by keeping one’s surroundings clean unless otherwise providing a workable solution to get rid of garbage.
Moreover, it causes various other health problems too. Of the Panadura, Navinna and Bloemendhal “garbage mountains”, the last alone has a volume of 3 million metric tons of garbage. When small tins and plastic containers are filled with water, they provide the ground for breeding dengue. Has the Health Ministry found solutions to the ever increasing garbage problem?
A: We have identified that the failure to ensure proper disposal of garbage results in spreading dengue. Health Ministry held awareness programmes with the Local Government Commissioners and Members and requested their assistance for the proper disposal of garbage to ensure healthy surroundings. We organised several `Shramadana’ programs in collaboration with civil defence committees.
It is imperative to dispose the garbage on a regular basis. Here too the ministry requires the public support to a great extent. If I were to cite an example, when the Ministry found a bare land to dump garbage, at Kolonnawa the dwellers rose against the `Colombo garbage’ being brought to their areas.
So, people should not entertain such narrow views on public issues. We have to dispose garbage in a least harmful manner to the environment. It is high time for people to treat the disposal of garbage as a matter of national importance and be flexible and broad minded to assist the Government in solving the problem.
Q: Poorly maintained public lavatories, drainage systems, and damaged roads are highly susceptible to breeding of dengue. If you carefully observe, you could still find such places. What action has the health ministry taken for the proper maintenance of those places?
A: I must mention that it is beyond the scope of the Health Ministry to repair the damaged roads, clean public toilets, or household surroundings. Many mistake it to be a responsibility of the health ministry. What the Health Ministry can do is to guide and direct the public on what should be done.
There are responsible bodies who should take action against those things and it depends highly on public cooperation. Due to lack of commitment in cleaning surroundings and public areas dengue has spread at rate more than we could imagine. I should reiterate that eliminating dengue is a collective responsibility which a single body alone cannot cope with.
Q: Have you come across any persons with dengue at IDP centres?
A: No patients or deaths due to dengue are reported at IDP centres.
Q: How has the health ministry executed its role in uplifting the health sector in Northern and Eastern areas including IDP centres?
A: The Health Ministry has launched a huge project to uplift the health of those areas which were formally struck by terrorism. We have employed a large number of health officials in those areas who work under not so comfortable conditions. A special unit has been in operation temporally to fulfil health needs of IDPs. AT the moment we bring doctors and nurses daily from Anuradhapura to IDP centres. We have developed Chettikulam and Vavuniya Hospitals. We also admit patients to other hospitals as well.
I am proud to claim that we were able to provide all facilities to IDPs without depriving them of even the most elementary health requirements. Among the IDPs there were approximately 300 expectant mothers who were about to deliver. We identified that these special patients should not be kept at common IDP centres so that we arranged separate wards for them at Chettikulam hospital.
We also built an operation theatre to cater to their needs. I am glad to be present at the time the first baby was born at a specially arranged ward, after we rescued them from the clutches of LTTE. We have provided all facilities for IDPs on par with Colombo hospitals. We launch program at various levels such as on nutrition, Oral health and preliminary health etc. We have also launched a program to uplift the psychological health of the IDP’s as well.
At the initial stage we received assistance from health staff who came from abroad. There were Indian and French hospitals in the area and the majority of them have now gone back to their countries.
There was a huge rush at IDP centres earlier, because thousands of people escaped from LTTE cultches were injured due to terrorist attacks. At that time the doctors who came here from various countries rendered a great service and now there is no need of such foreign staff because the ministry is strong enough to provide the necessary facilities for our brethren at IDP centres.
People who were critically injured by terrorist attacks are still receiving treatment and those with minor injuries have already recovered. Now we have to provide solutions for their day-to-day health problems.
I recently obtained financial assistance from the WHO to build quarters for 100 medical doctors in the North and East and by now we have already built 50 quarters for medical doctors and another 50 quarters for nurses.
We plan to build another 500 quarters for some more medical staff besides doctors and nurses, in future, so that they would be able to serve the people on fulltime basis. The ministry has estimated to provide 250 medical doctors, 200 nurses, 50 additional staff and other required human resources permanently in those areas.
Q: People complain that some restaurants where long distance buses stop for meals hardly maintain a healthy atmosphere and the foods sold at a higher price too are well below the standard. Many of the restaurants have observed the public health rules in the breach. How often are PHIs supposed to conduct investigations and produce unbiased reports?
A: The ministry has instructed PHIs to pay special attention to the condition of food sold at such restaurants. We have given priority to those problems which should be addressed with immediate effect such as dengue and IDP health. A large number of PHIs has been sent to IDP centres especially tasked to eliminate dengue. I admit that there may be shortcomings in handling problems you referred to due to aforementioned reasons. Yet, we will not turn a blind eye to such issues. They will be immediately addressed as soon as we provide solutions to dengue and IDP health problems. Local bodies are responsible for issuing trade licences to such restaurants. And they should take action to cancel the licence if those restaurants do not abide by the rules.
Q: How do you face the challenge of fighting rabies which has claimed 235 lives from 2005-2008?
A: There is little possibility to prevent all deaths caused by rabies because the dog population in our country exceeds 2 million. It has to be controlled in the interest of public health. We have to introduce the method of `Responsible dog ownership’ in Sri Lanka because a person interested in a puppy keeps them at home when she is young and chases her away when she grows old. This should be avoided because it is as responsible as rearing a child. The dog should be given proper vitamins, and injections on time for rabies and so on.
The number of stranded dogs is high in the country. The Government has allocated a huge sum of money for rabies treatment. There are 2,000 dog bites recorded per day in the country. The Government has to spend Rs. 36,000 for the necessary vaccines for a patient and nearly 50000 - 100000 rupees are spent on a single patient.
I do not recommend the method of killing dogs to prevent rabies. Many countries, however use that method. If you carefully examine you would never be able to get rid of dogs by killing, because if you kill 10 dogs soon another 10 will be there!I have implemented an effective method of controlling the dog population in a responsible manner, such as sterilisation of dogs, which would not involve killing of dogs.
Q: You once mentioned that Sri Lanka ranks No. 1 in `storing blood safety’. On what basis do you say that?
A: There are less than five incidents reported in the history of blood transfusion in which a patient died of HIV or other diseases.
It is a good record in comparison to the deaths connected to blood transfusion reported in other countries. So, I proudly proclaim that Sri Lanka has such systems of safe storage of blood. We obtain blood only from donors. The Government spends a huge amount of money to check for any germs in the blood obtained. The most advanced and reliable blood transfusion centre in South East Asia is in Narahenpita.
Many authoritative bodies including WHO have inspected the centre and claimed that our blood transfusion centre has high quality blood samples more than anywhere in the world. So we are extremely proud of that.
Q: It is a great achievement that a Sri Lankan Minister became the President of the World Health Assembly and the Chairman of the Executive Committee for the first time in the history of Sri Lanka. A stamp too was issued to mark the event. How will the Sri Lankans be benefited from that?
A: I could gather a vast spectrum of experience in that post. And I was also able to closely associate with other Health Ministers and Heads of States in various countries. I got an important opportunity to make the world aware of the current situation in Sri Lanka when I attended conferences.
Apart from that I received Rs.2.3 billion as a grant for the development of the Anuradhapura Hospital. That was possible because I maintained friendly terms with Japanese Health Minister for a quite long time since I met him at the WHO. Likewise I maintain close relationships with health ministers in other countries such as India and China. When I scaled the WHO ladder I was able to strengthen the bonds of friendship which helped the country a great deal. For example when the government needed to build quarters for the medical staff who work at IDP centres, I requested the WHO to assist us in building the required quarters. It was done within a couple of weeks.
Also we were able to send many doctors abroad for training and take part in conferences organised by WHO. Sri Lanka receives numerous opportunities and benefits by its Health Minister holding a responsible position .
When I hold the position at the WHO it is Sri Lankans who should be proud of it because they recognise me as the Health Minister of Sri Lanka not as a person.
It is a privilege for me as well as for the Sri Lankans. Many countries spend huge sums of money to get such position at WHO. They canvass for years for that. But in my case, I didn’t even spend a cent to get that position. It is the good faith and the image I have built in people.
Q: How do you refute the allegation thrown at you by the Opposition that your inefficient management has caused health problems such as dengue. They also argue that if you had taken action at the initial stage, deaths could have been prevented. They are of the view that you should resign?
A: If that is the case, all the Health Ministers in countries which were affected by dengue should resign. The Dengue Type 3 which is a genetically modified version of dengue is found in many tropical countries. Dengue is a problem which is created as a result of climatic changes.
The Opposition throws allegations at me with little knowledge on scientific facts. They narrate that the scientific mutation of dengue is my fault. I sympathise with those who issue such baseless statements based on their ignorance.
Moreover, countries like Mexico, Australia, USA, Switzerland too suffer from swine flu. Have the Health Ministers of those countries resigned merely because the country is infected with swine flu?
Everyone in the country should get together to overcome those diseases without capitalising on the situation to get political mileage.
I would like to ask a question from those who bring such allegations, that hadn’t they faced problems with infectious diseases like cholera and dengue during their time? And does the colour of the government matter for such diseases?
It is obvious that the Opposition have become jesters. This is a fine example for people to assess the level of intelligence of those who issue such utterly baseless allegations.
Q: What are the infrastructure developments implemented by government to uplift Uva?
A: We have implemented massive development projects in Uva Province. People in Uva have numerously benefitted by the `Pubudamu Vellassa’ concept initiated by myself.
Roads and underdeveloped villages have been developed under `Maga Neguma’, ‘Gama Neguma’ and ‘Pubudamu Vellassa’. Roads were developed to provide the easy accessibility to and from Uva. Previously it took 6 or 7 hours to reach Badulla from Colombo. Now it only takes less than five hours.
An efficient road system have been built across Uva such as Badulla, Bandarawela, Nuwaraeliya and the road extends up to Chenkaladi.
It provide easy access to areas like Colombo, Galle and Hambantota which facilitates easy dispatch of goods produced in Uva.
Health sector is highly developed in Uva. The Mahiyangana Hospital received an international award for its high standard. Clinics and community halls, water supply systems, concreted roads etc., were among the other development projects completed.
We launched special projects to uplift the economic standards of Uva. As an encouragement for those who cultivate yams, the government imposed a tax of Rs. 25 for a kilo of imported yams.
So that the local farmer would be able to earn a good profit. Providing necessary facilities, we have uplifted the standard of people in Uva.
Q: Nominations have been called already for the Uva Provincial Council elections. How is your preparation for that despite dengue crisis and allegations by the Opposition?
A: We are to give nominations on the 24 this month for the elections. We are preparing for a historical victory for which there is not the slightest doubt.
There is a different election structure in Uva Provincial Council.
There are 125,000 Tamils and 40,000 Muslims. Our aim is to strengthen bonds among other communities who support the government vision and gear up in achieving a great victory at the election.
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